DV can happen in many different forms, for example:
Physical Abuse | Punching, slapping, pulling hair, biting, burning, hitting, choking, kicking |
Emotional Abuse | Being verbally abused and humiliated
Being constantly blamed
Being put down in front of other people
Being kept away from family and friends |
Financial Abuse | Being kept without money
Having wages, benefits or pension taken from you
Having to account for all your spending |
Sexual Violence | Rape
Being forced to watch or act out pornography
Being talked to in sexually degrading ways
Indecent phone calls |
Threatening Behaviour | Verbal threats
Physical threats
Being watched
Being pestered |
Forced isolation | Being kept away from family and friends |
In an emergency always dial 999
| 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline | 0808 2000 247 |
| Southampton Women's Aid | 023 8033 8881 |
| South Hampshire Women's Refuge | 023 8063 7550 |
| Southampton Police Community Support Team | 023 8067 4198 |
| Southampton Rape Crisis and Sexual Abuse Counselling Service | 023 8063 6313 |
| Childline | 0800 1111 |
| No Limits (for young people aged 13-25) | 023 8022 4224 |
| Men's Advice line | 0808 801 0327 |
| Respect (Helpline for perpetrators) | 0845 1228 609 |
| Victim Support (Hants and Isle of Wight) | 023 8023 7348 |
| Samaritans | 0845 7909 090 |
A take-away card which gives brief details of where help can be sought is also available. This is available in council reception areas, call 023 8083 3071 or email community.safety@southampton.gov.uk for a copy.
Anyone can experience domestic violence, regardless of background, culture, religion, nationality or immigration status.
If you have approached an agency for help, and do not speak English fluently, they should offer you an independent interpreter; ask for this if it is not offered to you. If you are unhappy with the interpreter or are afraid they may breach your confidence or pressure you in any way, ask the agency to change the interpreter. Only use a trusted friend or relative to interpret for you if it is an emergency and no one else is immediately available.
If your immigration status is insecure, or is dependent on your remaining with your partner, you may feel trapped and believe there is nothing you can do, or you may be afraid to approach anyone for help in case you are deported.
Whatever your immigration status, you have a right to health care and to protection by the police. You also have the right to apply for a court order (injunction) to protect you from your abuser.
In an emergency you should always dial 999
Access to Communication
Provides translation and interpreting services | 023 8024 1300 or
023 8024 1301 |
| Chinese Information and Advice Centre | 023 7462 1281 |
EU Welcome
EU Welcome provides general help and support to people from the new countries of the European Union. They can direct people to relevant service and can work in English, Polish and other languages. | 07786 392886 euwelcome@yahoo.co.uk |
Multikulti
Provides information and guidance on housing, immigration, health, welfare benefits, debt, education and employment in a variety of languages (see the link at the foot of this page). | 020 7426 4470 |
Muslim Women's Helpline
A telephone counselling service of all Muslim women, regardless of ethnicity. | 020 8904 8193 or
020 8908 6715 |
| National Forced Marriage Unit | 020 7008 0151 or
020 7008 1500 |
NSPCC
Has separate child protection help lines in a variety of Asian languages. | Bengali: 0800 096 7714
Gujurati: 0800 096 7715
Hindi: 0800 096 7716
Punjabi: 0800 096 7717
Urdu: 0800 096 7718 |
Solace Domestic Violence Service
Tailored to meet the needs of Caribbean and African women and children in situations of domestic violence. | 024 7622 2988 |
Sólás Anois
Provides refuge and advice for Irish women and children, including those from the travelling community. | 020 8664 6289 |
Southall Black Sisters
Support and information available for mainly Asian, African and Caribbean women about domestic violence, forced marriages, abductions, conflict in the family and community, racial harassment and immigration and welfare rights. they can also provide advice for people with no recourse to public funds. | 020 8571 9595 |
Southampton Citizen's Advice Bureau
Provides a wide range of free, confidential and impartial advice on issues such as immigration, nationality, legal matters, benefits, housing etc. | 023 8022 3659 |
| 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline | 0808 2000 247 |
| Southampton Women's Aid | 023 8033 8881 |
| South Hampshire Women's Refuge | 023 8063 7550 |
A take-away card which gives brief details of where help can be sought is also available. This is available in council reception areas or call 023 8083 3071 or email community.safety@southampton.gov.uk for a copy.
If you are a man experiencing domestic violence there are services that can help you. All help and advice services given on these pages are for men and women, unless otherwise stated.
If you are worried about your behaviour towards your partner there are also services that can help and they are listed below.
In an emergency you should always dial 999
| Men's Advice line | 0808 801 0327 |
| 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline | 0808 2000 247 |
| Southampton Police Community Support Team | 023 8067 4198 |
| Southampton Rape Crisis and Sexual Abuse Counselling Service | 023 8063 6313 |
| Childline | 0800 1111 |
No Limits
For young people aged 13-25. | 023 8022 4224 |
Victim Support
(Hants and Isle of Wight) | 023 8023 7348 |
| Samaritans | 0845 7909 090 |
Respect
Helpline for male perpetrators. | 0845 1228 609 |
Hampton Trust
Local organisations which runs a 'voluntary' referral perpetrators programme. | 023 8021 3520 |
Probation Service
Runs a perpetrators programme | 023 8083 1300 |
A take-away card which gives brief details of where help can be sought is also available. This is available in council reception areas or call 023 8083 3071 or email community.safety@southampton.gov.uk for a copy.
In an emergency always contact 999
You can also contact the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline for more advice 0808 2000 247.
Unless you are trying to help someone who has been very open about their experiences it may be difficult for you to acknowledge the problem directly.
However, there are some basic steps that you can take to assist and give support to a friend, family member, colleague, neighbour or anyone you know who confides in you that they are experiencing domestic abuse.
Listen to them, try to understand and take care not to blame them. Tell them that they are not alone and that there are many in the same situation. Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk to them about experiencing abuse. Give them time to talk, but don't push them to go into too much detail if they don’t want to.
Acknowledge that they are in a frightening and very difficult situation.
Tell them that no one deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser may have said. Nothing can can justify the abuser's behaviour.
Support them as a friend. Encourage them to express their feelings, whatever they are. Allow them to make their own decisions.
Don't tell them to leave the relationship if they are not ready to do this. This is their decision.
Ask if they have suffered physical harm. If so, offer to go with them to a hospital or to see a GP.
Help to report the assault to the police if they choose to do so.
Be ready to provide information on organisations that offer help to abused people and their children. Explore the available options with them. Tell them about the Freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, and how to access Southampton services (see the other FAQ’s on these pages).
Go with them to visit a solicitor if they are ready to take this step.
Plan safe strategies for leaving an abusive relationship. Let them create their own boundaries of what is safe and what is not safe; don't urge them to follow any strategies that she expresses doubt about.
Offer your friend the use of your address and/or telephone number to leave information and messages, or you could suggest that you will look after an emergency bag, if they want this.
Look after yourself while you are supporting someone through such a difficult and emotional time. Ensure that you do not put yourself into a dangerous situation; for example, do not offer to talk to the abuser about your friend or let yourself be seen by the abuser as a threat to their relationship.
A take-away card which gives brief details of where help can be sought is also available. This is available in council reception areas or call 023 8083 3071 or email community.safety@southampton.gov.uk for a copy.
Making a decision to leave home can be very difficult. One of the most important things to do is to take steps towards either remaining safely in your own home, or finding safe alternative accommodation.
For advice on housing issues, help in finding safe accommodation or making your home secure you can contact the following:
In an emergency always dial 999
| 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline | 0808 2000 247 |
| Southampton Women's Aid | 023 8071 0068 |
| South Hampshire Women's Refuge | 023 8063 7550 |
| Southampton Police Community Support Team | 023 8067 4198 |
| Southampton Citizen's Advice Bureau | 023 8022 3659 |
| Southampton City Council Homelessness Unit | 023 8083 2737 |
| Southampton City Council Local Housing Offices: | |
| Central | 023 8083 2211 |
| Maybush | 023 8078 8815 |
| Peartree and Sholing | 023 8044 2604 |
| Shirley | 023 8078 9344 |
| Thornhill | 023 8042 0520 or 0521 |
A take-away card which gives brief details of where help can be sought is also available. This is available in council reception areas or call 023 8083 3071 or email community.safety@southampton.gov.uk for a copy.
If you are a disabled person you can get help from all of the organisations listed on these pages, there are also local and national services that can offer specific support to you:
In an emergency always dial 999
| 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline | 0808 2000 247 |
Southampton Women's Aid
Two of their three houses have been made accessible to wheelchair users. | 023 8071 0068 |
South Hampshire Women's Refuge
Wheelchair accessible facilities, with one fully accessible bedroom and en suite bathroom on the ground floor. | 023 8063 7550 |
Choices Advocacy
A citizen advocacy project which offers support to vulnerable adults | 023 8033 7735 or 023 8033 7736 |
| Disability Advice and Information Network (DAIN) | 023 8020 2653 or 023 8020 2654 |
| Southampton Centre for Independent Living (SCIL) | 023 8033 0982 |
| Solent Mind | 023 8020 8970 |
Southampton City Council Adult Social Care.
If you are contacting Social Services as an adult, or on behalf of an adult, who you feel may be in need of our support, you can reach them on | 023 8083 4567
023 8083 3808 |
Southampton City Council Emergency Duty Team.
If you need to contact Social Services in an emergency or out of hours about you or your children. | 023 8023 3344 |
Dial UK
Refers callers to their local service offering information on a range of issues for disabled people, their carers and professionals. The local service is the New Forest Disability Information Service. | 01302 310 123 or 01302 310 404
informationenquiries@dialuk.org.uk |
Open Sight
(formerly known as Hampshire Association for the Care of the Blind) | 023 8064 1244
info@opensight.org.uk |
| Hampshire Deaf Association | 023 8051 6516 or 023 8051 6518
enquiries@deafhampshire.co.uk |
Respond
Helpline for people with learning disabilities who have experienced abuse or trauma. | 0808 808 0700 |
| Southampton Police Community Support Team | 023 8067 4198 |
| Men's Advice Line | 0808 801 0327 |
A take-away card which gives brief details of where help can be sought is also available. This is available in council reception areas or call 023 8083 3071 or email community.safety@southampton.gov.uk for a copy.
Domestic violence can hurt children and young people. Watching one parent hit or frighten the other can make you feel scared.
Things to remember:
Abuse is NEVER your fault
You are not alone
You have the right to feel safe
It is good to ask for help
You should never try and intervene if there is violence happening
If you feel angry, sad, frightened or upset about what’s happening at home think about a trusted adult to talk to about it e.g. a teacher, youth worker, school nurse or your social worker.
If you are being hurt by anyone talk to a trusted adult. No-one should ask you to keep anything a secret if it makes you feel uneasy. You can also speak to any of the places below, or you can visit the other web sites listed on this page:
| Southampton Women's Aid | 023 8071 0068 |
No Limits
For young people aged 13-25 | 023 8022 4224 |
| Childline | 0800 1111 |
| 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline | 0808 2000 247 |
If you are experiencing violence from a partner of the same sex you can get general help and advice from all of the organisations listed on these pages, there are also local and national services that can offer specific support to you:
In an emergency always dial 999
| 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline | 0808 2000 247 |
| Southampton Women's Aid | 023 8071 0068 |
| South Hampshire Women's Refuge | 023 8063 7550 |
| Southampton Police Community Support Team | 023 8067 4198 |
| Men's Advice Line | 0808 801 0327 |
Breakout Youth Service
Support, advice and information to young people aged 13-25 years old, specifically for all aspects of sexual identity and relationships. | 023 8022 3344 or
07860 444 673 |
Broken Rainbow
A charity dedicated to helping LGBT people who are experiencing domestic violence. Information and support available on a range of related issues. | 0845 260 4460 |
Gay Community Health Service
Offers advocacy, information and advice to gay or bi-sexual men and women. Also offers sexual health services to gay men. | 023 8023 5111 |
Lesbian and Gay Switchboard Helpline
London based helpline providing confidential support and general information for lesbian and gay people. | 020 7837 7324 |
Mayflower group
A social group based in Southampton, which provides support and activities for people who are transgender, including transsexuals and transvestites. | 023 8077 1798 |
SOLA (Survivors of Lesbian Partner Abuse)
Support for women who have experienced emotional, physical or sexual abuse from a female partner. | 020 7328 7389 |
A take-away card which gives brief details of where help can be sought is also available. This is available in council reception areas or call 023 8083 3071 or email community.safety@southampton.gov.uk for a copy.
If you are an older person experiencing domestic violence you can get help and advice from all of the organisations listed on these pages, there are also some local and national services that can offer specific support to you:
In an emergency always dial 999
| Age Concern | 023 8036 8636
acsouthampton@btconnect.com |
| Action on Elder Abuse Helpline | 0808 808 8141 |
| 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline | 0808 2000 247 |
| Southampton Women's Aid | 023 8071 0068 |
| South Hampshire Women's Refuge | 023 8063 7550 |
| Southampton Police Community Support Team | 023 8067 4198 |
| Men's Advice Line | 0808 801 0327 |
A take-away card which gives brief details of where help can be sought is also available. This is available in council reception areas or call 023 8083 3071 or email community.safety@southampton.gov.uk for a copy.
The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) have defined so-called ‘honour’ based violence as a crime or incident, which has or may have been committed to protect or defend the honour of the family and or community.
The term ‘honour’ is used to identify the specific trigger and risk factors linked with these crimes, it’s important to highlight that there is no honour in violence or abuse, and this issue should be understood in the wider context as an abuse of human rights.
So called ‘honour’-based violence is a collection of practices, which are used to control behaviour within families to protect perceived cultural and religious beliefs and /or honour. It includes honour killings (murder in the name of honour), and a range of other violent and abusive practices including domestic violence, forced marriage, rape and sexual abuse and female genital mutilation, all perpetrated in the name of ‘honour’
Victims of so called ‘honour’-based violence suffer violence, abuse, depression, anxiety and other psychological problems that can lead to self-harm, schizophrenia and suicide. It can also result in murder and abduction.
There were 4893 reports of domestic violence to Southampton Police in 2006/07.
In a one week period in 2008 705 cases of domestic violence were presented to services in Southampton.
Only a third of domestic violence is reported
One in four women and one in six men will experience domestic violence in their lifetime
One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute
Every week two women are killed by a violent partner
In 90% of domestic violence incidents children are in the same or next room.
A third of all murders are ‘domestic’.
There are an estimated 12 "honour" killings in Britain a year, but police believe they are only the most extreme end of a much larger problem.
Worldwide over 5000 women and girls are killed every year by family members according to the UN.
Forced marriage, which is often a form of honour based violence is also a significant issue, the Governments Forced Marriage Unit deals with around 400 cases per year
It is widely recognised that these issues are massively under reported so these statistics are just the tip of the iceberg.
Southampton City Council
