Are you worried about your behaviour in your personal relationships?
It takes strength to admit that your behaviour is harming your partner. But if you really want to change, you can. Violence is learned behaviour. You can learn new ways to communicate – but you will only be successful if you can:
- Accept responsibility for your behaviour. You cannot blame your actions on your partner, or on drink, drugs, stress or work
- Accept that the abuse comes from your desire to control your partner. Understand the ways you control that person and why you behave like this
- Realise that you have a choice. You choose to be violent or abusive, and you can choose not to be
- Accept that your partner has a right to live their own life without being dominated and controlled
- Stop using anger to control your partner
- Seek help from professionals. Start by talking to your GP who can refer you for counselling, or contact a local support group
- Learn new healthier, safe ways to communicate with your partner
Can anyone help me change?
Programmes exist to help men change their behaviour and increase the safety of family members. Interventions are designed to meet the needs of participants.
Group sessions look at the causes of violence and abuse, and what behaviours are in healthy, safe relationships, helping people understand why they use violence. Participants are asked to take full responsibility for harmful behaviour recognise the impact of their actions on their family members.
Participants also learn different, safe and healthy ways of behaving within a relationship.
Most programmes are in contact with the person who has been harmed in order to ensure the ongoing safety of them and their children.
Is there any help locally?
The Hampton Trust delivers a service for people using harm in their relationships called Pathways to Change which is available to people in Southampton who have been assessed as suitable. The service runs a number of interventions for people assessed as suitable for support by the Hampton Trust. People living in Southampton, Hampshire and the Isle of Wight are eligible for accessing their services.
If someone is not assessed as suitable for the Pathways to Change Services, the staff will offer the appropriate intervention to meet their needs.
Contact with partners or ex-partners is an integral part of any referral made.
The Hampton Trust accept self-referrals as well as referrals from professionals.
Who should I contact?
The Hampton Trust
Pathways to Change: Navigating towards healthy relationships programme is delivered by the Hampton Trust is one of the most respected and innovative UK providers of work in the field of domestic abuse and more recently wider criminal justice responses. They are committed to rebuilding lives by addressing the root cause of domestic abuse and criminality.
Telephone: 023 8000 9898
Website: www.hamptontrust.org.uk
Respect
The national association for domestic violence perpetrator programmes and associated support services – can help you find a programme.
Telephone: 0808 802 4040
Website: respect.uk.net
